So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
