when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
