You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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