bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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