You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
