Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize