Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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