i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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