yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
