And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
