Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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