Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize