whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
