just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
