As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize