I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
