hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
