I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
