Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
