Yo dont text me then not text me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
