Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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