I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
