I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize