Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
