you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
