I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize