I like my sex mixed with concussions.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize