This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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