I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize