I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Randomize
