no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
