Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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