remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
