White coat. Heels.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
