SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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