Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
