i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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