Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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