Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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