Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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