i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
