So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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