oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
