Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize