It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
