my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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