Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
