Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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