Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
