where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
