party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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