too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Every concussion has its silver lining
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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