Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
