Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
