if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
