So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
