Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
