What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
