So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
